Newsletters for Children's ministers.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Newsletter 43

Newsletter 43 from Maurice Sweetsur


Contents.

Story - Daniel in the lion's den.
Story - Processionary caterpillars.
Play - Bartimaeus.
A Job funny.
Discipline in class.


Story - Daniel in the lion's den.

Note. When telling well known Bible stories, I try to do so from a different perspective, and thus keep the interest of the children. This is how I usually tell the 'Daniel in the lion's den' story.


Leo the lion didn't have to work very hard to catch his dinner. After all he was "the king of the jungle" and much faster and stronger than any of the other animals around. Yes, life was good and easy for Leo. If fact he spent most of his time just lazing in the sunshine. But things were about to change.

One day Leo was snoozing after his mid-day meal, when he felt something being thrown over him. Lazily opening one eye, Leo saw what appeared to be pieces of string knotted together covering him. "Huh" thought Leo, "I'll soon get rid of this string." Leo began to push the string away with his paw, but once he pulled his paw back, the string came back over him. Leo decided that he had better use two paws, then three, then all four. But the harder he tried, the more he became caught up in the knotted string. Eventually he became completely entangled in the net. He had been captured.

What a 'come down' for the 'king of the jungle'. Leo had lost his freedom, and was now confined to living in a den. Things could have been worse though. At least Leo had some other lions for company, and his human captors fed him regularly. But it was not the same as having his freedom, and being able to roam wherever he wished.

Then things got worse. The food supply ceased. After a few days, all the lions were desperately hungry, and even began to think about eating each other. But then, suddenly, the door to the den was opened, and there was thrown in the largest meal Leo had ever seen - a fully grown man! Leo thought "I am going to get my share of that man before all the other lions eat him up." He moved swiftly towards his meal and began to open his huge jaws ready to take a bite. But, disaster, something was terribly wrong, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't open his jaws. It was as if someone had stuck them together with super glue. Leo tried prising his jaws open with his jaws, but they were still shut tight. "Oh no" thought Leo, "By the time I get my jaws open, there will be nothing left, all the other lions will have eaten the man." But then he noticed something strange. All the other lions were like himself. They were also rolling around the floor trying to prise open their mouths!

Some hours later, Leo and the other lions were resting on the floor, exhausted from their failed efforts to open their jaws. And the man was sitting in the centre of them, calmly watching. Suddenly, the door to the den opened, a face appeared, and a voice called out "Daniel, are you still alive? Did your God manage to rescue you from the lions?" The man replied "Yes He did. He sent an Angel to bind up the mouths of the lions, so that they would not harm me."

Orders were quickly given for Daniel to be lifted out of the lion's den. "Oh no, thought Leo, there goes my dinner." But then, good news. The door to the den was opened again, and Daniel's accusers were thrown in. And this time Leo and the other lions were able to open their jaws!

"I am sure that you have all heard that story before, but can anyone tell me, why was Daniel thrown into the lion's den? (I then get the children to tell this famous story back to me, drawing out which points I wish to emphasise - God can protect us, God wants us to be individuals and do what is right, etc.).



Story - Processionary Caterpillars.

Note. I usually tell this story after I have taught on 'Daniel in the Lion's den'.

In South America there are a type of caterpillar called processionary caterpillars. They are so called because they always seem to be marching in procession - all following each other in single file. Once a man came upon such a procession and played a little trick on them. Using his fingers, he manoeuvred the caterpillars so that they formed a complete circle. Now, instead of walking in a straight line, the 'first' caterpillar was now following the 'last' one. The man watched as the caterpillars went round and round, each following the one in front for seven hours!

If you could have spoken to one of those caterpillars and asked it why it was doing such a stupid thing, going round and round, following the one in front, it would probably have said "I know it is a silly thing to do, but I don't want to be different. I just want to be the same as all the other caterpillars. If I broke rank, and went for a nibble at that juicy leaf over there, all the others would notice and think me different. I never want to be different. I just want to be the same as all the others."

Unfortunately a lot of people are like those processionary caterpillars. They don't want to appear different from whatever group they are in - even if that group is doing something stupid or wrong. They just don't dare to be like Daniel and stand up for what they know is right. But God didn't make us all the same, He made us as individuals and wants us to act as such, and always make the right choices, not based on what 'the majority' are doing, but rather on what is the right thing to do - just like Daniel did.

The question is, who are you going to be like? Processionary caterpillars (the same, but silly) or Daniel (an individual, but doing right)?



Play - Bartimaeus.

In Newsletter 16, I shared on how to use the story of Bartimaeus to teach on prayer. Here are two plays to re-enforce the Bartimaeus story. As they are both short, and are quite different from each other, I usually use them both.


Play 1

Characters. Bartimaeus (Bart), Jesus, Crowd (of about three, following Jesus), Crowd (of about three, standing behind Bart).

Narrator. Bart was sitting outside the gates of Jericho, begging as usual. He heard the noise of a large crowd coming his way. He was told that they were all following Jesus, so he called out - - -

Bart. Jesus, have mercy on me.

Narrator. But the crowd said - - -

Crowd (Standing behind Bart). Be quiet. Don't bother the Master.

Narrator. But Bart cried out even louder - - -

Bart. Jesus, have mercy on me.

Narrator. The crowd responded - - -

Crowd. Be quiet. Jesus is too busy to be bothered by blind beggars like you.

Narrator. Now Jesus had passed by. He was leaving the city, but Bart called out at the top of his voice - - -

Bart. Jesus, have mercy on me.

Narrator. Suddenly Jesus stopped, and said - - -

Jesus. Bring that man to me.

Narrator. Now the crowd changed their attitude, and said - - -

Crowd. Cheer up. Jesus is calling for you.

Narrator. Bart stood up, threw off his Beggar's coat, and was led to Jesus. Jesus asked - - -

Jesus. What do you want me to do for you?

Narrator. Bart knew exactly what he wanted, and said - - -

Bart. I want to see.

Narrator. Jesus replied - - -

Jesus. Then see. Your faith has made you well.

Narrator. Immediately Bart's eyes were opened, and he followed Jesus down the road, praising God.



Play 2

This time all the children can participate by calling out the words you show them. Write the words spoken by Bartimaeus, Jesus and the crowd on large pieces of cardboard - three different colours, e.g. Bart on yellow, Jesus on red, crowd on green. Arrange the cards in the right order.

Divide your class into three groups, then explain that Group 1 plays the part of Bart - by calling out the words on the yellow cards as they are shown, Group 2 plays the part of Jesus (Red cards), and Group 3 plays the part of the crowd (Green cards).

You act as the narrator, by linking the words that are to be called out by the groups.

Example.

(Bart was sitting begging. He heard a noise and asked)
Bart. What is this?
(The crowd replied)
Crowd. Jesus is passing by.
(So Bart called out).
Bart. Jesus, take pity on me.
(But the crowd said)
Crowd. Be quiet, no fuss.
(Bart wouldn't be quiet, and called out even louder)
Bart. Jesus, take pity on me.
(Suddenly, Jesus stopped, called Bart to him, and asked)
Jesus. What do you want?
(Bart replied)
Bart. I want to see.
(Then Jesus said)
Jesus. Then see, your faith has healed you.
(Bart's eyes were opened, and he called out)
Bart. I can see! I can see! I can see!
(And all the crowd said)
Crowd. Praise the Lord!

You may then wish to repeat the play twice, and so give each group the chance to play all three parts.


A Job funny.

Private and Confidential

FROM:
Mrs A Witness
Acceptance House
Valley of Change
PEACETOWN
CU4 JOY

TO:
Mr A Seeker
14 Lost Hill
Grotsville
Sinn City
RU1 YET

Dear Sir

Re: Reference in support of Application for position of 'Saviour'

Thank you for your letter requesting a personal reference for Jesus of Nazareth in support of his application to join you in the position of 'saviour' in your life. I am delighted to be in a position to give him my highest recommendation.

I have known Jesus for the past sixteen years and have found him to be an honest, reliable and trustworthy person. His dual qualifications as 'Son of Man' and 'Son of God' place him in a unique and, I believe, more than adequate position to fulfill all the necessary requirements for the position in question. In addition, his life--revealing as it does the capability to perform miracles, teach with authority and to forgive sins--is further evidence of his suitability for the role of saviour. Furthermore, I urge you to consider perhaps the most outstanding of his achievements - that he rose from the dead - precisely to bring about our salvation. This claim is supported by historical evaluation and by numerous witnesses and is perhaps the most conclusive proof of his power and suitability for the position of saviour in your life.

His reputation as an unrivalled leader in his field is well deserved and his ability should not be underestimated. His undeniable charisma and personal qualities of understanding, compassion, gentleness, patience and love inspire the fiercest loyalty in his work colleagues and friends. He has an uncompromising devotion to furthering the individual personal development of others. He is also an activist in society promoting with great persuasive prowess and wisdom such concepts as justice, tolerance and the highest moral standards. To this date I have never known him to be wrong. This can make him rather irritating to work with at times, especially for people with strong personalities or conflicting beliefs.

One word of caution with regard to the appointment in question, if Jesus takes up this position with you, he will almost certainly change your life. He will undoubtedly challenge your accepted views on a variety of issues and will also cause you to grow and develop in new, exciting, but sometimes painful, ways. These changes are not necessarily quantifiable or in keeping with today's social perceptions. Whilst all of Jesus' work is of a voluntary nature and attracts no salary, the process of change in your life can be very difficult and I advise you to count the cost before employing him. However, I can reassure you that the final results are always good and beneficial both to yourself and others.

I feel sure that the recruitment of Jesus will bring you significant aid in your proposed venture and will certainly guarantee its eventual success. One final word, if you do decide to offer Jesus the position of 'saviour' in your life, he will also be remaining in that post in the same position here in mine and in the lives of millions of other people around the world!

Yours faithfully
Anne Witness


Discipline in class.

Author: Carmen Kamrath
Head off behavior problems before they start—or get worse
Inevitably it happens. If you’ve volunteered in children’s ministry, you’ll never forget the day you left class feeling like the kids’ footprints were imbedded on your back. Weary from battle, you contemplated whether you had what it takes to serve in children’s ministry. In one short hour the kids lost control, you lost control, and you walked out the door feeling discouraged, unequipped, and scarred.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. A recent poll conducted by AP-AOL Learning Services found that two out of three public school teachers named children’s misbehavior as a major problem in schools. And when children’s ministry leaders are asked if they agree with this finding, the overwhelming answer is “yes.”

Discipline is a hot button for people who work with kids. While public and private school systems have five days a week to instill a discipline plan with students, the church typically has about one hour per week to do the same. Public school systems have certified instructors trained to deal with classroom management, but the church often expects volunteers to come up with their own discipline plan without guidance or expectations. Sometimes disciplining kids at church is even discouraged and ignored.

So how can children’s ministry volunteers do what they’re called to do—without being trampled on by misbehaving kids? Understanding why kids misbehave is the first step to eliminating discipline problems.

What Sets Off Kids

• A Desire to Belong—One of kids’ greatest desires is to connect with their peers. Sometimes a child’s misbehavior results from a mistaken assumption that an inappropriate action will help gain peer recognition. When kids feel disconnected from a group, misbehavior is often actually a misguided tactic to belong: “If I refuse to participate, others will think I’m cool, and I’ll fit in with the group.”

• Lack of Direction—Unclear rules, inconsistent enforcement, and lack of consequences can ignite misbehavior. If kids believe they’ll get away with inappropriate behavior, and there’s a history of tolerance without repercussions, the spark of misbehavior can spread like a wildfire.

• Environmental Hazards—Sometimes the room arrangement encourages kids to act out. Seating arrangements, physical distractions, and space issues can lead to a child’s poor behavior choice. One church had kids who constantly goofed off in chairs during large group time. Their leader removed the chairs and had kids sit on the floor. This simple change eliminated the distraction and kids were instantly more engaged in the teaching. Group chemistry and personal circumstances may also create a hostile environment.

• Boredom—If kids aren’t engaged in learning, they’ll engage in something else. And an unprepared leader is a doormat just waiting to be stepped on.

Discipline Style

Evaluate your discipline style when responding to misbehavior. How you respond to a situation may determine whether you’re able to regain control of your classroom. What’s your style?

• Passive—Do you avoid misbehaving kids and hope situations will resolve themselves? Or do you cower when handling situations? Quietly asking kids to stop hitting each other without further discussion or follow--
through invites kids to goof off because they’re confident there’ll be no repercussion for their behavior.

• Aggressive—Do you blow steam the minute a situation gets slightly out of control? Do you spew words out of anger or make threats? Calling kids names such as “brats” or “pigs” doesn’t model respect or a plan of action. Defiant kids now know exactly how to push your buttons, while children who behave fear you.

• Assertive—Do you stay calm when communicating to a misbehaving child? Do you make eye contact, verbally repeat the offense for clarity, and use the child’s name? Assertive leaders calmly insist that children comply with expectations, and they follow through with consequences rather than threats. Firmly stating disapproval for inappropriate behavior, what the appropriate behavior is, and the potential consequence if misbehavior continues will win every time when it comes to discipline issues.

Clear Expectations

Creating a discipline policy is a vital step toward managing discipline problems. Your discipline policy should complement the goals and purpose of your ministry. Two basic goals for discipline are to ensure kids’ and leaders’ safety, and to provide an environment conducive to learning. Use these tips to create a discipline policy for your ministry.

• Keep It Simple—Don’t develop so many rules that kids can’t remember them from week to week. Set two or three simply stated rules for kids. To help kids understand, ask them what it looks like to follow the stated rules. For example, one rule may be, “Treat others like you would want to be treated.” Ask kids, “What behaviors describe this rule?” One teacher used this approach and the kids in her class were delighted that they were asked to be part of the process. Kids that were once behavioral problems became models for the positive behaviors they helped develop for their classroom. Write their descriptions and keep them visible in your classroom. Kids will have ownership in the discipline policy if they help shape what it looks like.

• Keep It Consistent—Your discipline policy should have basic principles that span all age groups. It may have a different look for pre-schoolers and preteens, but the -concepts and goals should remain constant. If one rule is to respect others, that may mean sharing the crayons for a preschooler, or it may mean no put-downs for a 10-year-old. Consistency makes it easier for kids to remember expectations for the long haul, and it helps volunteers stay on the same page.

• Keep It Fresh—Take the time to review your policy with kids. Post expectations in your room and in public gathering areas. One church saw discipline issues decline when they posted expectations outside classroom doors for kids and parents to read as they entered the room. Send periodic reminders of expectations home to parents. Review rules on a weekly basis so everyone’s clear about what’s expected.

• Keep It Label-Free—Each week we face a swarm of personalities, disorders, and issues attached to the kids who walk through our doors. Each week may have a different set of behavioral problems and challenges in your class. In the heat of the moment it can be easy to label the child instead of the inappropriate behavior. Take care when confronting a child about his or her misbehavior. Announcing to the class that Sally’s a chatterbox when she constantly talks out of turn doesn’t model respect and may inflict damage to her developing sense of self. Instead, remind Sally that one of the class rules is to be respectful and when she talks out of turn, her behavior is disrespectful.

Consequences

If you want kids to follow your policy, follow through with established consequences. Consequences help kids own their behavior and teach them to make better choices. Use these tips when establishing consequences for misbehavior.

• Three Strikes—It’s important to give kids the opportunity to correct misbehavior on their own. Giving kids a warning that clearly describes their offense and the potential con-sequence allows children to self-correct. You may need to distinguish behaviors that bypass a warning and directly result in a consequence, such as putting another child in danger.

• Teachable Moments—Establish consequences that teach kids responsible behavior. Don’t force a child to say, “I’m sorry” when he or she isn’t remorseful. Instead, tell a child that his or her behavior has resulted in a consequence. Ask the child to tell you why he or she will receive a consequence. Have the child take responsibility for his or her actions by confessing them to Mom or Dad.

As a children’s ministry director, I’ve used this approach with kids of all ages. I believe it teaches parents and kids to communicate and work on problems together. I’ve seen kids take greater responsibility for their actions when they’re faced with explaining their behavior to a parent or guardian. Give the child the opportunity to tell you what an appropriate behavior would’ve looked like. If appropriate, ask the child what a logical consequence should be for the misbehavior. Remember to tell children that they aren’t bad, but they made a poor behavior choice.

• Fairness—Don’t let some kids get away with breaking rules and then come down hard on others. One family left a church because their daughter told her teacher that the pastor’s grandson hit her every week. When the problem became a weekly occurrence, her parents talked to the teacher. The teacher never disciplined the boy or told his parents about his misbehavior. When the girl’s parents discovered that another child had been kicked out of class for the same misbehavior, they made a decision to find a new church. Kids need to know the steps that’ll transpire before a consequence is handed down, and they need to see that leaders are fair. Kids will have a difficult time trusting and respecting leaders if they show favoritism or leniency to some kids and not others.

• Taking the Lead—“Attitude reflects leadership, captain.” This memorable quote from the movie Remember the Titans holds true for ministry leaders. If your position is to oversee children’s ministry at your church, then be a model for volunteers, kids, and parents. Develop your discipline policy and support your volunteers in their efforts to uphold it. When a difficult discipline situation arises, take the load from volunteers and handle it yourself. Informally check in on areas where persistent problems exist.

If you’re a volunteer, stay positive. Greet children and parents often and communicate a partnership with families regarding discipline. Public school research shows that children respond positively to social rewards such as smiling, praising, and complimenting. Misbehavior often wins center stage, but giving attention and praise when things go right in class can have a lasting effect in determining your classroom climate. cm

Carmen Kamrath is the associate editor of Children’s Ministry Magazine.


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Positive Self-Talk

By Sophia Winter

It’s easy to lose confidence—or cave completely—when you’re faced with disciplining a child. One reason we lose confidence in these stressful situations is internal—the “little voice in our heads” telling us we’re fighting a losing battle. Let’s listen in.

I can’t do it. I’m uncomfortable disciplining kids.
“I can’t do it” statements are self-defeating and start the vicious cycle of the self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to discipline. If your tendency is to fall into this thinking, memorize Philippians 4:13: “For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.” Arm yourself with this Scripture. With each situation, your attitude will be positively influenced, and you’ll experience a greater sense of control.

I’m just a volunteer Sunday school teacher.
“Just” statements are detrimental, so eliminate them from your thinking. As you reflect on your role in a child’s life, remember that you may be the only person willing to confront the child’s misbehavior and help instill positive change. God has given you a responsibility in each situation for reasons that may not be obvious to you. Remember, it’s not about you; trust God’s guidance as you address the behaviors in question.

I feel like giving up.
Even on the worst discipline day, deep down we know that it would feel a lot worse to give up than to take a stand for kids’ sake. Life’s toughest challenges often bring the greatest rewards. To lift your spirits, visualize a misbehaving child taking positive steps forward. Anticipate the satisfaction and joy you’ll have in knowing that you played an important role. Reflect on the impact your involvement will make on the child, his or her self-esteem, and everyone’s ability to enjoy Sunday school again. Allow yourself to savor your hopes and dreams for the child—rely on them to provide encouragement as you work through the tough spots. “This too shall pass” can be your private—and true—mantra as you make the effort on behalf of this valuable child and his or her family.

Can I really make a difference?
William James, noted psychologist and philosopher, said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” This innate need is often unfulfilled for many. For this reason, let the child know you care for him or her in spite of any negative situation. When you extend genuine care and concern to children, your actions reveal their preciousness. Your efforts will have an impact. You can have confidence that your care has made a difference.

Remember that the greatest eternal benefit of your efforts will become clear as this child moves into a closer, intimate relationship with Jesus. Girded with this knowledge, you can accomplish anything!