Newsletter 66.
Newsletter 66 from Maurice Sweetsur
Contents.
O.L. 70 - Long distance miracles (cutting a banana in half).
Monologue - Esther.
Church funnies.
The Bible and the cell phone.
Object Lesson 70 - Long distance miracles (Cutting a banana in half).
Jesus sometimes healed people from a distance - just by speaking a word of faith. In this illustration you appear to cut a banana in half just by speaking and/or by making a 'chopping' action with your hand towards it.
Preparation.
Take a banana, choose a point near the centre, and push a small sewing needle through the peel and most of the way through the soft centre. With the needle still in place, move it in an upwards and then a downwards direction a few times. This action will cause the centre to be cut in half, but leave the peel largely unaffected. On removing the needle, only a small prick should be visible in the otherwise 'normal' banana.
Illustration.
Show the class your 'normal' (but prepared) banana. Select a volunteer and have them hold up the banana so that everyone can see it. Stand a few metres away from your volunteer and 'command' the banana to be cut in half. At the same time you could make a chopping motion with your hand in the direction of the banana. Finally, get your volunteer to carefully peel the banana. The banana centre should be clearly seen to have been cut into two halves.
Monologue - Esther.
I always enjoy acting in front of my classes, but the following skit, based on the story of Queen Esther, probably gives me more fun than any other.
Although I have called this a monologue, you actually play four different characters - Uncle Mordecai, Esther, King Xerxes and Prime-Minister Haman. Using four different voices may seem a hard task, but I am sure most of you could manage it. I use the following "voices" :-
Mordecai - My normal voice.
Esther - High pitched voice.
Xerxes - Deep voice.
Haman - "Sneaky" (mocking) voice.
I use a scarf as a prop, placed in four different positions as the characters are speaking :-
Mordecai - Held around my waist.
Esther - Placed over my head.
Xerxes - Draped over my shoulders.
Haman - Held on side of face (which I tilt to the side for greater effect).
Introduction.
I introduce the lesson by explaining how the Israelites came to be captive in Babylon, and that they were in great danger of becoming extinct. But God wasn't going to allow that to happen. He still had great plans for them, including the birth of His Son into an Israelite family many years later. He found two 'ordinary' people (Mordecai and his niece Esther) that were willing to be used by Him to rescue the Israelites from their danger.
Monologue. (This may appear to be rather long at first sight, but that is because the sentences have been deliberately kept short to enable rapid change of 'character'. It should only take six or seven minutes to perform, and you will probably find the lines fairly easy to memorise).
Mordecai. I am Mordecai. I am a Jew, and I am very concerned about the great danger my people are in.
Esther. I am Queen Esther. I won the 'Miss Babylon' beauty contest because I am so lovely. Don't you think I am lovely? The first prize was to get married to the King. I wasn't his only wife, but I was his favourite because of my great beauty. However, I thought it best not to tell him that I was a Jew.
Xerxes. I am King Xerxes. And if I make an order, everyone must obey it.
Haman. I am Prime-Minister Haman, and I hate the Jews. The Jews must die, the Jews must die.
Narrator. One day Haman plotted against the Jews. He went to the king and said.
Haman. Oh kingy.
Xerxes. Yes Haman.
Haman. Guess what those Jews are doing now?
Xerxes. I don't know. What are those Jews doing now?
Haman. They disobey your orders.
Xerxes. They disobey my orders!
Haman. Yes, they disobey your orders. You have to do something about it, kingy.
Xerxes. What do you think we should do about it Haman?
Haman. Sign an order saying "The Jews must die".
Xerxes. The Jews must die!
Haman. Yes. They disobey your orders. Come on kingy, sign an order saying "the Jews must die".
Xerxes. Very well, I shall sign an order saying "the Jews must die".
Haman. Ha Ha. The king's signed the order. The Jews must die! The Jews must die!
Narrator. When Mordecai heard what had happened, he was mortified. He was terrified. He was horrified. He was petrified. Well, he was very upset. He called for his niece.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Guess what Haman has done now?
Esther. I don't know. What has Haman done now?
Mordecai. He has tricked the king into signing an order saying "the Jews must die".
Esther. The Jews must die!
Mordecai. Yes, the Jews must die.
Esther. What can we do about it, Uncle Mordecai?
Mordecai. You are our only hope. You must tell the king.
Esther. But, he doesn't even know that I am a Jew.
Mordecai. Well this is the time to tell him. Who knows that you have come into the Kingdom for such a time as this.
Esther. Very well, I shall tell the king.
Mordecai. But, wait.
Esther. Wait?
Mordecai. Yes, wait. We need to make sure that the king is in a good mood. We need to work out a plan.
Narrator. So Mordecai and Esther worked out a plan. That night Queen Esther went to see the king.
Esther. Oh, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. Yes Esther.
Esther. I am having a party tomorrow night. Would you like to come to my party?
Xerxes. Oh yes Esther, I would love to come to your party.
Esther. And can we invite Haman as our special guest?
Xerxes. Very well. If that is what you want, my dear. Haman shall be our special guest.
Haman. Ha Ha. I am to be the special guest at the Queen's party. I am so important, I am. I am to be the special guest at the queen's party.
Narrator. The party was going really well, but Mordecai wanted to know what was happening. He crept up to the open window.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Have you told the king yet?
Esther. No the time is not right. But get away from this window, the king may hear you.
Xerxes. Esther!
Esther. Yes, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. What was that noise at the window?
Esther. Oh, that was just the wind.
Xerxes. Just the wind!
Esther. Yes, just the wind.
Narrator. But Mordecai couldn't keep away. For a second time he crept up to the window.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Have you told the king yet?
Esther. No, the time is not right. But get away from this window, the king may hear you.
Xerxes. Ester!
Esther. Yes, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. What was that noise at the window?
Esther. Oh, that was just the wind.
Xerxes. I am sure it was more than just the wind.
Esther. No, it was just the wind. But I have something to tell you.
Xerxes. Something to tell me?
Esther. Yes, something to tell you.
Xerxes. What is it you want to tell me?
Esther. I'm a Jew.
Xerxes. You're a Jew?
Haman. The Queen's a Jew!
Esther. Yes, I'm a Jew.
Xerxes. - - - - Well, that doesn't matter my dear. You are still my Queen, and I still love you.
Esther. Oh, thank you my Lord. But, I have something else to tell you.
Xerxes. Something else to tell me?
Esther. Yes, something else to tell you.
Xerxes. What else do you want to tell me?
Esther. Haman has tricked you into signing an order - The Jews must die.
Xerxes. Well, I did sign the order my dear.
Haman. That's right. The king's signed the order. All Jews to die. All Jews have to die.
Esther. But that means that if all Jews have to die, then I have to die.
Xerxes. Oh No! No harm must come upon you, my dear.
Haman. Ahhh. But you signed the order. All Jews to die. All Jews have to die.
Xerxes. I know!. I will sign a new order, saying that nobody can harm the Jews!
Esther. Oh, thank you my Lord. The Jews have been saved.
Haman. But that's not fair. You promised. You signed the order. All Jews have to die.
Esther. What shall we do about Haman?
Xerxes. I don't know. What do you think we should do about Haman?
Esther. I'll ask my uncle. Uncle Mordecai! Uncle Mordecai!
Mordecai. Yes, Esther?
Esther. What shall we do about Haman?
Mordecai. Hang him.
Esther. Hang him.
Xerxes. Hang him?
Haman. Hang me!
Mordecai. Hang him.
Esther. Hang him.
Xerxes. Then Haman shall hang.
Haman. No. Don't hang Haman. Don't hang cuddly old Haman. Hang the Jews. Hang the Jews. Hang the Jews.
Narrator. But Haman was too late, and he was taken out and hanged. (Wrap the scarf around your neck as a noose).
Therefore, because of the obedience and courage of Ester and her uncle, the Jews were saved from extinction. And shortly afterwards the King allowed them to return to their homeland of Israel.
Church Funnies.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?""Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago.""Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?""Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
=========================================
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?""Sixteen," the boy responded.His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly: "How do you know that?""Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
=========================================
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up.""That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it'll be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
The Bible and the cell phone.
By Sandra Goonetilleke
What if we...?
What if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone,we don't ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!
Contents.
O.L. 70 - Long distance miracles (cutting a banana in half).
Monologue - Esther.
Church funnies.
The Bible and the cell phone.
Object Lesson 70 - Long distance miracles (Cutting a banana in half).
Jesus sometimes healed people from a distance - just by speaking a word of faith. In this illustration you appear to cut a banana in half just by speaking and/or by making a 'chopping' action with your hand towards it.
Preparation.
Take a banana, choose a point near the centre, and push a small sewing needle through the peel and most of the way through the soft centre. With the needle still in place, move it in an upwards and then a downwards direction a few times. This action will cause the centre to be cut in half, but leave the peel largely unaffected. On removing the needle, only a small prick should be visible in the otherwise 'normal' banana.
Illustration.
Show the class your 'normal' (but prepared) banana. Select a volunteer and have them hold up the banana so that everyone can see it. Stand a few metres away from your volunteer and 'command' the banana to be cut in half. At the same time you could make a chopping motion with your hand in the direction of the banana. Finally, get your volunteer to carefully peel the banana. The banana centre should be clearly seen to have been cut into two halves.
Monologue - Esther.
I always enjoy acting in front of my classes, but the following skit, based on the story of Queen Esther, probably gives me more fun than any other.
Although I have called this a monologue, you actually play four different characters - Uncle Mordecai, Esther, King Xerxes and Prime-Minister Haman. Using four different voices may seem a hard task, but I am sure most of you could manage it. I use the following "voices" :-
Mordecai - My normal voice.
Esther - High pitched voice.
Xerxes - Deep voice.
Haman - "Sneaky" (mocking) voice.
I use a scarf as a prop, placed in four different positions as the characters are speaking :-
Mordecai - Held around my waist.
Esther - Placed over my head.
Xerxes - Draped over my shoulders.
Haman - Held on side of face (which I tilt to the side for greater effect).
Introduction.
I introduce the lesson by explaining how the Israelites came to be captive in Babylon, and that they were in great danger of becoming extinct. But God wasn't going to allow that to happen. He still had great plans for them, including the birth of His Son into an Israelite family many years later. He found two 'ordinary' people (Mordecai and his niece Esther) that were willing to be used by Him to rescue the Israelites from their danger.
Monologue. (This may appear to be rather long at first sight, but that is because the sentences have been deliberately kept short to enable rapid change of 'character'. It should only take six or seven minutes to perform, and you will probably find the lines fairly easy to memorise).
Mordecai. I am Mordecai. I am a Jew, and I am very concerned about the great danger my people are in.
Esther. I am Queen Esther. I won the 'Miss Babylon' beauty contest because I am so lovely. Don't you think I am lovely? The first prize was to get married to the King. I wasn't his only wife, but I was his favourite because of my great beauty. However, I thought it best not to tell him that I was a Jew.
Xerxes. I am King Xerxes. And if I make an order, everyone must obey it.
Haman. I am Prime-Minister Haman, and I hate the Jews. The Jews must die, the Jews must die.
Narrator. One day Haman plotted against the Jews. He went to the king and said.
Haman. Oh kingy.
Xerxes. Yes Haman.
Haman. Guess what those Jews are doing now?
Xerxes. I don't know. What are those Jews doing now?
Haman. They disobey your orders.
Xerxes. They disobey my orders!
Haman. Yes, they disobey your orders. You have to do something about it, kingy.
Xerxes. What do you think we should do about it Haman?
Haman. Sign an order saying "The Jews must die".
Xerxes. The Jews must die!
Haman. Yes. They disobey your orders. Come on kingy, sign an order saying "the Jews must die".
Xerxes. Very well, I shall sign an order saying "the Jews must die".
Haman. Ha Ha. The king's signed the order. The Jews must die! The Jews must die!
Narrator. When Mordecai heard what had happened, he was mortified. He was terrified. He was horrified. He was petrified. Well, he was very upset. He called for his niece.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Guess what Haman has done now?
Esther. I don't know. What has Haman done now?
Mordecai. He has tricked the king into signing an order saying "the Jews must die".
Esther. The Jews must die!
Mordecai. Yes, the Jews must die.
Esther. What can we do about it, Uncle Mordecai?
Mordecai. You are our only hope. You must tell the king.
Esther. But, he doesn't even know that I am a Jew.
Mordecai. Well this is the time to tell him. Who knows that you have come into the Kingdom for such a time as this.
Esther. Very well, I shall tell the king.
Mordecai. But, wait.
Esther. Wait?
Mordecai. Yes, wait. We need to make sure that the king is in a good mood. We need to work out a plan.
Narrator. So Mordecai and Esther worked out a plan. That night Queen Esther went to see the king.
Esther. Oh, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. Yes Esther.
Esther. I am having a party tomorrow night. Would you like to come to my party?
Xerxes. Oh yes Esther, I would love to come to your party.
Esther. And can we invite Haman as our special guest?
Xerxes. Very well. If that is what you want, my dear. Haman shall be our special guest.
Haman. Ha Ha. I am to be the special guest at the Queen's party. I am so important, I am. I am to be the special guest at the queen's party.
Narrator. The party was going really well, but Mordecai wanted to know what was happening. He crept up to the open window.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Have you told the king yet?
Esther. No the time is not right. But get away from this window, the king may hear you.
Xerxes. Esther!
Esther. Yes, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. What was that noise at the window?
Esther. Oh, that was just the wind.
Xerxes. Just the wind!
Esther. Yes, just the wind.
Narrator. But Mordecai couldn't keep away. For a second time he crept up to the window.
Mordecai. Esther! Esther!
Esther. Yes, my uncle.
Mordecai. Have you told the king yet?
Esther. No, the time is not right. But get away from this window, the king may hear you.
Xerxes. Ester!
Esther. Yes, my great and glorious Lord and Master, my wonderful King.
Xerxes. What was that noise at the window?
Esther. Oh, that was just the wind.
Xerxes. I am sure it was more than just the wind.
Esther. No, it was just the wind. But I have something to tell you.
Xerxes. Something to tell me?
Esther. Yes, something to tell you.
Xerxes. What is it you want to tell me?
Esther. I'm a Jew.
Xerxes. You're a Jew?
Haman. The Queen's a Jew!
Esther. Yes, I'm a Jew.
Xerxes. - - - - Well, that doesn't matter my dear. You are still my Queen, and I still love you.
Esther. Oh, thank you my Lord. But, I have something else to tell you.
Xerxes. Something else to tell me?
Esther. Yes, something else to tell you.
Xerxes. What else do you want to tell me?
Esther. Haman has tricked you into signing an order - The Jews must die.
Xerxes. Well, I did sign the order my dear.
Haman. That's right. The king's signed the order. All Jews to die. All Jews have to die.
Esther. But that means that if all Jews have to die, then I have to die.
Xerxes. Oh No! No harm must come upon you, my dear.
Haman. Ahhh. But you signed the order. All Jews to die. All Jews have to die.
Xerxes. I know!. I will sign a new order, saying that nobody can harm the Jews!
Esther. Oh, thank you my Lord. The Jews have been saved.
Haman. But that's not fair. You promised. You signed the order. All Jews have to die.
Esther. What shall we do about Haman?
Xerxes. I don't know. What do you think we should do about Haman?
Esther. I'll ask my uncle. Uncle Mordecai! Uncle Mordecai!
Mordecai. Yes, Esther?
Esther. What shall we do about Haman?
Mordecai. Hang him.
Esther. Hang him.
Xerxes. Hang him?
Haman. Hang me!
Mordecai. Hang him.
Esther. Hang him.
Xerxes. Then Haman shall hang.
Haman. No. Don't hang Haman. Don't hang cuddly old Haman. Hang the Jews. Hang the Jews. Hang the Jews.
Narrator. But Haman was too late, and he was taken out and hanged. (Wrap the scarf around your neck as a noose).
Therefore, because of the obedience and courage of Ester and her uncle, the Jews were saved from extinction. And shortly afterwards the King allowed them to return to their homeland of Israel.
Church Funnies.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?""Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago.""Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?""Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
=========================================
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?""Sixteen," the boy responded.His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly: "How do you know that?""Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
=========================================
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up.""That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it'll be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
The Bible and the cell phone.
By Sandra Goonetilleke
What if we...?
What if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone,we don't ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!
posted by Maurice Sweetsur @ 3:12 AM
